What our teeangers can teach us about friendship

I met with two old friends this weekend in a bid to catch up before Covid-19 restrictions increase for the winter. It was such a needed tonic. Why had we left it so long to do this?

These particular friendships were formed when having our first babies, 13 years ago đŸ˜”. Like most new parents, we navigated those first years together in cafes and each other’s gardens in a semi-delirious state reassuring each other we were completely normal and that, one day, all would be okay.  Then life did get more okay and we started getting back into our careers, moving house, getting dogs and becoming busier and busier
 too busy to really nurture those friendships properly.  

Yesterday we ate, drank, laughed, and talked crap in equal measures. It felt so good. Such a release. Space to blurt things out and think without the eye-rolling of our judgemental teenagers. We openly discussed our worries, fears, children, husbands, careers, money issues and body changes. I felt comforted and validated. Once again, I felt reassured that I was completely normal, I was okay. More than that, I was valued, wanted, appreciated, and loved.

I wonder how our friendships change as we age? Is there something about hitting middle-age or parenting teenagers that means we need our friends again more than ever? Isn’t middle-age a bit like adolescence? We need our peers to find courage, care and a sense of normality in the middle of big changes. I am going to take a leaf from my teenager’s book and start prioritising my friendships – I have a feeling I am going to need them.

My mate left me a bottle of her lovely Neals Yard Remedies oil that she pours everywhere. I am sure the aromatherapy oils it contains will be soothing but I think it will be the powerful connection with her kindness, loyalty and humour that will do it for me. Stand clear, I will be smelling a lot of Bergamot!

Can you give yourself permission as a parent to nurture those relationships that give you the strength, courage and care required to stay steady as a parent or as a carer for ageing parents?

For those who need a bit more than friendship to navigate midlife troubles I highly recommend taking a look at Dr Becky Quickie or follow her on Instagram (The Menopause Psychologist).

3 ways to get our help



Sign up to Our mailing list for hints and tips updates.

"Dr Andrea Shortland’s session for MediaCom on a children’s mental health was incredibly informative"

“Dr Andrea Shortland’s session for MediaCom on a children’s mental health was incredibly informative. During the second period of lockdown and home-schooling; parents and children found themselves again in a period of upheaval and transition. Many parents and carers were extremely worried about their children’s mental health and their own ability to be present and engaged whilst also playing the role of teacher and care giver. Dr Shortland gave attendees an insight into how many parents were feeling; tips on supporting children and helping them cope whilst studying from home and also managing their mental health. She also helped us realise the importance of taking care of ourselves in order to effectively support our children. It was such a useful session that we realise it was also pertinent for not only children’s mental health but also adults! We will be holding another session with Dr Andrea and MediaCom soon.”

Avelon Thompson, MediaCom (following a parenting workshop)