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Adult Consultations – Client Example – Linda, sought help to explore how to support her son, Charlie (16 years) following a recent disclosure about bullying at school.

Background

Linda was recently informed by Charlie’s school that one of his teachers had witnessed him being physically targeted by a group of his peers. It emerged that Charlie had been targeted, intermittently, by this group for several years and he had not told anyone about it.

Charlie had started to talk to a school counsellor. However, Linda was feeling shut out by Charlie. He was angry, not talking to her and was isolating himself in his room. Linda was worried about him and she was also feeling guilty that she had not suspected there was a problem.

How many consultations and who attended?

Linda had two consultation sessions.

What did we do in the consultations?

  1. Explored impact on Linda – We explored how Linda had been activated, understanding what was causing her distress and feelings of helplessness, guilt and fear. When we explored some of Linda’s earlier experiences, we understood why she felt so overwhelmed by what had happened to Charlie. Linda began to have more understanding and compassion for herself and Charlie. Linda also made some changes including pulling back from a friendship with a mother of one of the boys who had been targeting Charlie.
  2. Explored patterns of communication – We explored the ways in which family members tended to communicate with and support one another, particularly with regard to challenges and difficulties. We considered what has worked for the family in the past and what strengths they had to draw on. We looked at small changes that could be introduced which had a big impact.
  3. Explored impact on Charlie – including how he may be perceiving the support offered to him. This led to consideration of some alternative ways in which Linda might approach Charlie to support and help him.
  4. Considered Linda’s support network and resources – this included generating ideas to increase her own strategies for self-care. We realised Linda had been so focused on a mum that she had neglected some of the other areas of her life that gave her strength and confidence.

What did the client have to say about the experience and outcome of the consultation?

Linda expressed feeling relief for being able to talk about the difficulties she was experiencing and surprise at how stuck she had become without realising it. She was relieved to discover that there were some practical things that she could do that might make a big difference and break some old family patterns that may have been contributing to the problem.